23 responses

  1. Jeremy @ Modest Money
    April 6, 2012

    I’m personally a sucker for dragging out situations where I’m not satisfied. Your friend is in a tricky situation with the kids involved. I grew up with divorced parents and it does create its problems. Honestly though, I’m not sure which is worse. It seems that a lot of couples stick together until the kids are done high school. It may suck for the parents, but might really be best for the kids.

    • Money Reasons
      April 7, 2012

      I use to think that way, but not I’m not so sure. If he waits another 10 years, he won’t have the potential to find another mate by then. Tough call…

  2. Kok Leong
    April 6, 2012

    I feel that is always better to confront your problems now, rather than avoiding it and letting it growing bigger and come back to bite you in future. I suggest your friend talk to his spouse and try to work things out. After all, i believe there is a reason why they got together in the 1st place, there must have been some sparks/romance between them in the first place. They should try to find it back and make it feel like they are still in the process of dating each other.

    • Money Reasons
      April 7, 2012

      I think you are right, but at the same time, I’ve learned not to intrude much in other people’s relationships. But I will mention it to him when I see him.

  3. retirebyforty
    April 6, 2012

    I don’t know if a mistress will really help the situation much. If he is wealthy and can afford the upkeep, then maybe it’s a good option, but even then the kids and wife wouldn’t be happy about it. It’s a tough situation. I think staying together until the kids are out of high school is probably the best way to go too.

    • Money Reasons
      April 7, 2012

      I’m not sure, he’s pretty level headed and so is his wife. Perhaps they should stay together until the kids are out of high school, as long as they don’t kill one another. Usually situations like this just keep escalating with both parties growing to hate one another.

      We’ll see..

  4. krantcents
    April 6, 2012

    Problems never go away on their own. In fact, they get worse. As a teacher, 60-70% of the behavior problems come from children who have divorced parents. The rest comes from bad parenting! I wish more people would take responsibility for their actions and improve their performance.

    • Money Reasons
      April 7, 2012

      I think bad parenting is partially because the parents aren’t very bright, or not very mature.

  5. John
    April 6, 2012

    I would agree that avoiding problems for too long can cause you to live a life that you might end up regretting. Sad thing.

    I’d recommend that people also think very carefully before making decisions, as the decisions they make can affect them for the rest of their lives.

    • Money Reasons
      April 7, 2012

      Thanks John, I agree… although I think a person is in a continually state of growth, and the more that they learn, the more they outgrow the past. I think my friend now knows that he made a huge mistake, but now he’s in a rock and a hard place.

  6. jefferson
    April 7, 2012

    it seems like far too many people are completely unhappy with their lot, but unwilling to really address the issues and make changes..

    sometimes you have to leave your job.. or even end your relationship. you have to be willing to make changes to find what works for you.

    • Money Reasons
      April 7, 2012

      I believe your thoughts on the matter make total sense. I hope my friend finds his path.

  7. Sherrian@KNSFinancial
    April 7, 2012

    I think having a mistress could be equally, if not more painful than making an honest, clean break.

    I hold off on decisions on a regular basis, and it truly is no way to live. I spend more time contemplating things I want to be doing than actually doing them. I am making an honest effort to change that instead of watching time just pass me by.

    • Money Reasons
      April 7, 2012

      I’m a lot like you Sherrian! I too over-analyze things to a point of inactivity.

      My friend has some big changes that I personally would be terrified over and I would be frozen into a state of inactivity.

  8. Bret @ Hope to Prosper
    April 7, 2012

    The best way I have found to make a decision is to envision the worst case scenario. If you can handle that, then you can choose that direction. If not, then it’s best to avoid it. With this method, you never have to worry about the choice you made.

    • Money Reasons
      April 7, 2012

      Great idea, I hope my friend can think that many moves ahead!

  9. Money Reasons
    April 7, 2012

    yes, both are miserable and wasting live with each other that could be spent searching for a better mate…

  10. ShortRoadTo
    April 8, 2012

    I am sure the kids aren’t benefiting from the tension between the parents in the home. Sooner or later they will split up and hopefully it doesn’t get ugly before that. The sooner they do, the better.

    • Money Reasons
      April 12, 2012

      Yes, at one time in the path I didn’t believe that to be the best route, but now I’ve changed my mind.

      Plus, the kids learn from seeing, and if they see their parents hate one another, will they do the same in their relationships in the future?

  11. Drew
    April 9, 2012

    It’s so destructive to yourself to avoid problems, especially ignoring debt. However long you manage to dodge it, reality will come back at some point and bite you!!

    • Money Reasons
      April 12, 2012

      Yep, and it snowballs… After a few years it could become an avalanche..

  12. Firstgenamerican.com
    April 9, 2012

    Fear of change is often more painful and stressful than being with the devil you know. The first step is to embrace change as a way of life and become excited by it instead of frightened of it.

    • Money Reasons
      April 12, 2012

      Wise advice! I think of it as a second chance to do your life the right way. It’s better than waiting for death…

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