During my college days, I lived in a co-ed dorm for a short period of time. The guys lived on the odd floors and the women lived on the even floors.
At the cafeteria, I kept eating the same time as this friendly and fairly attractive girl that lived in my dorm building did. After a while of being in the lines at the same time, we started joking around and became friends. Occasionally, we would even eat together, but this wasn’t an everyday common occurrence since I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend.
One day she was almost in tears back at the dorm. I asked what was wrong and she told me that she was going to flunk a class because she didn’t prepare a report on the movie “Blade Runner” (I think she didn’t read the book or something like that). So she was desperately looking for someone with a car that could take her to get the video so that she could watch and create a report based off of the video.
Since I felt like we were friends, I told her I could help. So I drove her to a video store that was 5 miles away. She picked up the movie and as we were going to the cashier to rent the movie, but the owner said we needed to be a member. Fine, so I thought I’d sit back and let her become a member.
Well, turns out she didn’t bring her driver’s license and they required a license to get a movie. I put on my proverbial super hero cape AGAIN and got a membership card. My “friend” then gave me the money to rent the video.
She thanked me profusely when we got back to the dorm and almost ran to her dorm room to watch the video and write the report.
Time Lapse… 2 or 3 weeks.
I forgot about the video, thinking my “friend” got her boyfriend to drive her to the video store, but he hadn’t and the video store called me wanting their video back.
I try to contact her multiple times, but she didn’t respond and wasn’t around as much. Eventually I did bump into her and asked her about the video. She said something lame like she forgot and told me she is moving out of the dorm and into her boyfriend’s house. I was pissed, and said that I need the video. She said that she would get it for me before she moved.
A few days later, I came back from classes to my dorm and my roommate asked if a video he found outside leaning against our dorm door was mine. I looked and it was! Apparently my “friend” came, realized nobody was in the dorm and leaned it against the door and left… Nice…
So I returned it, and the video store wanted some outrageous money for it being so late. I was hot about then entire deal and explained the problems I had and walked out never to return (yes I realize that it wasn’t the right thing to do).
After that, I never seen my “friend” again, and I’m guessing she did poorly in the class and dropped out of school entire or transferred.
The point of this story is even though I was being a superhero, I really ended up being a victim.
That was the last time I’ve ever lent anything of value to a friend. So far, this has worked out quite nicely for me. I know and heard of other friends going lending thousands and never getting paid back.
You can have a friend like I had (she was fun to be around), but if they are kind of flaky, don’t lend them money or things of value!
Have you even went out of your way to help a friend, only to have them stab you in the back afterwards?
MR
I think we have all done that at least one or two times in our lives, especially if there is a pretty girl involved boyfriend or no boyfriend. =D
As we get older and wiser we tend to start picking our friends better and become a much better judge of character. Its only through situations like what you described we learn a little more about the different facets of human nature and in doing so become wiser to the world we live in.
This is true, very true.. 🙂
Backstabbing friends are never worth it. I have never understood how these people live with themselves.
I am betting your little friend ended up pregnant!
I never thought of that! That makes sense though…
I guess if that were the case, perhaps she did forget the video since she had much more important concerns to worry about… still…
These types of stories are so frustrating! Unfortunately, I have also had experiences where doing favors just lead to people taking advantage of you. I can say though that I believe in karma, and your generosity should not be spared from the folks that are really in need of it. Don’t let one bad apple make you think that there are not others out there that are deserving and can treat you with respect!
Blogging has helped me a lot! I’ve met so many like minded and friendly people via blogging that have been so helpful that I just naturally feel more friendly…
Backstabbing friends are not really friends if they backstab! They aren’t worth the time. As I get older, I realize that people generally don’t change, so if you idenfity them as not 100% on the up and up, then don’t waste time at all. Period.
I’ve had experience with one of those, and he was legendary. Not worth dealing with people like this.
I’d help a good friend in need, the level of help would depend on the strength of the friendship. If someone is flaky and unreliable, I’d treat them differently.
Good way to do it! After the one friend above, I was stingy with offering help, but I’m getting better, slowly… Once bitten twice shy kind of deal…
I like to head off problem before they become ones. I rarely and I mean rarely will do these kinds of things for casual fieds. My good friends do not put me in that position.
Ah, very true and it sounds like you have picked some great friends!
Ahhh, college. I look at college kids now and remember when I was that idiotic, I mean, naive. We live in an apartment complex that has a few college kids living here too and they sound so ignorant. “Like yeah, I mean, sure ya know.” That’s my interpretation of them.
I’m sure I sounded that way too many, many years ago. Your “friend” probably didn’t mean to cause you problems, she was just a ditz due to her youth and inexperience.
At least you learned how to gauge these qualities in people as you got older! Every thing’s a learning experience. 😉
I think you are right, but at the time I was livid!
She did return the video to me, albeit in a cowardly way… I have no animosity towards her and wish her the best.
No good deed goes unpunished, MR.
Back when I used to play indoor soccer, I’ve loaned out jerseys to “friends” who conveniently forgot to give them back. Fool me not once, but several times.
lol, I like the line “Fool me not one, but several times“..
I think that your quote isn’t such a bad way to go about it. Yeah in the short term it might suck, but in the long term you still come out ahead by being the nicer guy!
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At least it was only a video Don! Imagine if it was something bigger.
I stay away from flakers ALWAYS!
Sam
That’s true! It was a great lesson learned. Since that experience I never did any significant financial favors for friends after that.