Some people are very competitive, even at an early age!
Here is my question to you, the readers: “Is being the very best the most important thing in life“? After all, do you really think it’s healthy to be as competitive as Tonya Harding (see skating scandal)?
Why I ask this is because I see young kids on my son’s soccer team have different reactions when they lose. Some cry, others yell at their teammates, some quit and some go to other cities to play. The most ironic thing is that after all the little league, supposed superstars take such measures, they often leave a more cohesive team. I believe this is one of the reasons that my son’s team won every game except one this season, and finished by winning the regional soccer championship this past soccer season!
Of course everybody on the team has to be a pretty decent player and play their hardest for that position they play. But without the superstars trying to hog all the glory, the entire team improved as a whole!
The same is true with normal life! You can’t fight a real war being a force of one, no matter what the movies portray (see the character Rambo in “First Blood“)…
So after your investment portfolio, business or whatever in life get to a certain size, it’s a smart move to hire help and/or join networking groups that can offer advice and support (see Yakezie).
-MR
Congrats to your son and his coach.
I personally have too many things going on in my life to be the best at any one of them. I personally don’t have the ability to do just one thing and give it my all at the expense of everything else.
So, I am okay with knowing that I’ll be a jack of all trades, master of none. I think life’s more interesting that way.
Even being the best isn’t bad if you do it gracefully. Teamwork is what makes a great team.
In prior years, I remember seeing one particular kids running all over the field like a crazy man, playing defense, offense and continually following the ball like a dog. He was good, but also a joke.
I was surprised his parents didn’t try to correct him.
The same is true with your business team. Unfortunately, with businesses, there is no way to keep score and if the team loses, the company may suffer.
Ha. No, being the best isn’t necessary… eventually there’s always going to be someone better than you no matter what you do.
I have a problem with trying to be the best (academically) but not wanting to spend the time to do so these days (darned family being so much fun). I think if I’d been more challenged K-12 or even in college I’d be a lot healthier about that now. When things aren’t challenging enough being the best is an easy challenge to pick, as is being perfect. Neither is really healthy out in the real world.
I wonder if striving constantly to be the best is almost a disorder? I seen obsessive behavior from those that are too committed to be that best in their sport.
Hm, ya think that’s my problem?
lol, I hope not! I was thinking of the kid across the street that continually has a basketball in his hand, constantly dribbling or shooting baskets…
That was an awesome article you did at GRS! Congrats!
I saw this very recently. My son was the ‘best’ on his middle school soccer team, and kids just deferred to him. (Trust me, he is not a ballhog. He much prefers passing to shooting.)
Anyway, he got injured during the 3rd game of the season. They instantly started losing once he was gone. Then something great happened. They all started trusting themselves a little bit more and each other, instead of just panicking and sending it to my son. The whole team developed so much more without him than they would have with him. I think that is true in life in general. Whether the person truly wants all the power and to be the best or the people around them allow it, it is never good for anyone. (I just wrote a comment about this over at Yakezie believe it or not.)
I have given up on perfection because I will never win that battle. I do my best, and then relax a little.
There was on boy on my sons team a few years back that would be in a defense position, but then would run all the way up where the forwards were. Sometimes triping his fellow teammates to get the ball.
The kicker was the coach would say good job so_and_so when he would occasionally get a goal. I think we tied twice that season and lost the rest of the games.
This past year, we got a new coach and kids, and that made all the difference 🙂
This coach taught everbody equally, but th en again he teaches at the high school level. So I’m sure he knows it’s better to have many weapons instead of one or two…
I think it is a shame that some people give up just because they are not the best. I guess I can understand how trying to be the very best can be a flaw. I think a healthier (but not perfect) focus is trying to be your very best. This is different and removes the competing with others element because you are in essence only competing with yourself.
I think being the very best at the position at hand is great. But my issue is when people try to wear all the hats and at the same time be the best!
I think only Leonardo DiVinci did that successfully in history… Most of us can’t all be like Leonardo, especially in the internet age.
I put more value on being happy and having a good time than on being the best. I rather look back on my life and remember the general fun of it instead of trying to keep up with how many times I was better than everyone else and how often I wasn’t…
Great way to do it!
I wonder if trying to be the best is another form of trying to on-up the Joneses…
I am really not a competitive person, but I think it is because I hate losing that much that it is easier to condition myself not to care…
Wow I think I just had a breakthrough lol
I’ve seen family members cry when losing at games and some would get made and swear at the others when she would lose.
I take the approach where I try my best but if I lose, that’s fine it doesn’t define me.
Great breakthru!!!
Good topic. For myself (and kids), I’m a proponent of doing your best and then being content with it. If your best doesn’t get you to be #1, then you can decide your course of action. You can be happy with what you have done, and move on (most of the time). Or, you can strive to learn/practice more to become better over time. Personally, at my age (nearly 40), I’m more aligned with the first course of action. Life experience has taught me to know the value of sincerity, hard work, and putting things in perspective.
Sounds like you definitely got it figured out 🙂
I think people should try to do their best as long as it’s a positive contribution. I don’t think it’s so great when they try to do it all, to the detriment of the team. Everything is a team these days, socialization is the new norm 🙂